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<title>in heaven, there is no beer (that’s why we drink it here) by daddygrandpaandthebeaver (CourtneyCourtney)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581255">in heaven, there is no beer (that’s why we drink it here)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyCourtney/pseuds/daddygrandpaandthebeaver'>daddygrandpaandthebeaver (CourtneyCourtney)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Wristcutters: A Love Story (2006)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:09:06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27581255</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CourtneyCourtney/pseuds/daddygrandpaandthebeaver</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Prompt G. things you said while we were driving</i>
</p><p>“Do you want beer?”</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>One-sided Mikal/Zia (Wristcutters)</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>in heaven, there is no beer (that’s why we drink it here)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>First posted <a href="https://daddygrandpaandthebeaver.tumblr.com/post/632639915116658688/ficlet-in-heaven-there-is-no-beer">on October 22, 2020</a></p><p><b>ME</b>: Ah yes, time to reference a drinking song we all know and love.<br/><b>GOOGLE</b>: 404 Error WTF are you on about?</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="post-content">
  <p>“Do you want beer?”</p>
  <p>Mikal squints up at Zia through the window. She thinks the plan was for him to go inside and pay while Eugene pumps the gas. She just knows it isn’t her turn to do either. She’s planning to get out and stretch her legs in a minute, once she’s done poking at the edge of the hole under the front passenger’s seat.</p>
  <p>"What kind?” she asks.</p>
  <p>Zia shrugs. “Everywhere we’ve been just has the one.”</p>
  <p>Mikal sighs and pops the lock on her door. “Sure.” Only one brand of beer in the entire afterlife? They are definitely in hell. She’s been sure of it since she got here, growing more and more sure of it with every starless night that passes, but this is somehow the straw the breaks the camel’s back for Mikal.</p>
  <p>Or the straw that gets the camel talking about its broken back, anyway.</p>
  <p>“We’re definitely in hell,” Mikal says once they’re back on the road. She’s playing nice, sitting in the backseat while Eugene drives and Zia has a turn up front. Unfortunately, it means she misses seeing their exact expressions when she drops the bomb. She can see the glance the two men share in the rearview mirror, but that just doesn’t cut it.</p>
  <p>“Oh, <em>fuck you then</em>,” Eugene snarls at the same time Zia shrugs and says, “It makes as much sense as anything.”</p>
  <p>Eugene swerves. Mikal gets a hand up to cover the top of her open beer bottle in time, but Zia isn’t so lucky. She sees the spray of beer and guesses it his shocked cry that most of it met the front of his shirt. She tries and fails to get a glimpse of said shirt while Eugene gets them back in the right lane and then onto the road’s shoulder.</p>
  <p>Eugene puts the car in park, but instead of turning his death glare on Mikal, he faces Zia. “Eat your words or I’m making you walk.”</p>
  <p>“You wouldn’t,” Zia replies, though Mikal sees his grip tighten on his beer bottle, his free hand clutching at the edge of the seat by his thigh.</p>
  <p>Eugene reaches up and across the seats to poke Zia in the chest. “You say that, knowing what it means for my parents and for my brother, and yes the fuck I will.”</p>
  <p>Mikal has no idea what he means, but she wedges her bottle between her knees, then leans forward between the seats to play devil’s advocate. “Zia, are we in hell or not?”</p>
  <p>Zia throws a frown at her. “I – ”</p>
  <p>“And don’t do that bullshit where you say we both have a point,” she adds, pointing her own finger in his face.</p>
  <p>“<em>What?</em> I don’t…” Zia’s gaze darts back and forth between them. “I wouldn’t…”</p>
  <p>Eugene sighs, some of the fight leaving him. “Zia, please. Just tell Mikal she’s wrong and we can – ”</p>
  <p>“What? No!” Mikal turns so she can put her free hand up to block Eugene’s face. “No, I’m not wrong!” She turns back to Zia, trying not to waver under the full attention of his green eyes. “Zia, please tell Eugene what you really think.”</p>
  <p>Zia stares at her for a good minute. “I mean…” Then he sighs and stares instead at the hand she has in front of Eugene’s face. “I don’t think this is, like, capital-h Hell. I mean, it’s shitty, but. I kind of really hope not anyway.”</p>
  <p>Mikal continues staring at him. “Not in hell?”</p>
  <p>Zia’s eyes flick back up to meet hers. “Yeah, no. Sorry Mik.”</p>
  <p>“Thank you!” Eugene crows as Mikal rolls her eyes with an exaggerated sigh.</p>
  <p>“Unbelievable,” she says, sinking back into the backseat. She can’t be too disappointed, though. She always thrills a little when Zia shows he’s got a spine under there somewhere. “Just because you can’t see the proof that’s right in front of your faces…”</p>
  <p>“<em>You know what?”</em> Eugene bellows without taking his eyes off the road as Zia makes a coughing-choking noise that in a better world Mikal thinks would be a laugh. </p>
  <p>Seriously, though, Mikal thinks as she looks out the window at the dead landscape and debris. This has to be hell. Maybe it’s only obvious to her because of him, but Mikal knows any kind of just afterlife would let her know the sound of his laughter.</p>
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